Well, here we are. I come before you today to make it official: Wicked Awesome Adventure is going on "indefinite hiatus." If you're familiar with webcomics, you will probably know that this is code for "the end." I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but I just don't have time to continue the comic. While I would like to see it continue in some form or another at some point, that point is... not now.
Since I've returned from my trip of backpacking from Florida to Oregon (which was fantastic), I would like to thank everyone who has read the comic for the past year (or less, I won't judge you) and especially thank the people who have commented and offered suggestions. This has been a blast and I quite literally could not have done it without you. Thank you very much!
If you, like me, are curious how it would have ended if it got to an actual climax and such, I've written an ending in case I never do manage to get back to it:
The good guys win.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Oooh boy, that POISON is kicking in... better make this quick.
JET: The joke's on you, Ninja. I've spent the last three years building up an immunity to Iocane poison!
NINJA: Good thing I didn't use Iocane then. But you're stalling.
JET: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You only think I'm stalling!
NINJA: If you're trying to trick me into giving away something, it won't work.
JET: It has worked! You've given everything away! You weren't after McBeard at all! You were... after... me?
NINJA: Your powers of observation continue to serve you well, Jill Elysia Thunderson. I hope you realize the trouble we've gone through to---
JET: NINJA, I AM YOUR FATHER!
HOSE-WHIP MONOLOGUE-INTERRUPTION ATTACK TO RETRIEVE ANTIDOTE THROUGH DEFT PROWESS!
Wait, no. This is clearly a POISON-INDUCED PARALYSIS NON-ATTACK.
This... may not end well....
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
JET: OK, now that we've had a breather, where to begin? The antidote? Hand it over.
NINJA: Really? Just like that?
JET: I'll give you ten cookies for it.
NINJA: Show me the cookies first.
JET: I don't have them with me, they're safe in a---
NINJA: I'm joking. I like cookies but it's not an addition.
JET: Then why did Braxley's cookies make you tell us everything?
NINJA: Tell you everything? Don't you remember? I just used my "answer" as cover to escape!
JET: So you did. But you stabbed yourself with your katana. You need the antidote as much as I do.
NINJA: Already drank some on the chase over here, maybe?
JET: No you didn't, I would have seen that.
NINJA: Like when you saw me change to a new, clean shirt?
JET: Eh, it's probably not a proper antidote anyway. You're a ninja. You don't just go around antidote-ing people.
NINJA: It's marked with an "A." "A" for "Antidote."
JET: Just as easy to be "A" for "Arsenic" or "A" for "Affliction" or "A" for the first in a series of alphabetically labeled bottles.
NINJA: Then why do you want it?
JET: Maybe I'm just toying with you. Or maybe... I switched the vials while we were running.
NINJA: Unlikely. Not that I assume your skills not up to the task, but simply because I doubt you have an identical container of this size and shape, filled with the right color liquid and engraved with an "A."
JET: Maybe I'm just that crazy prepared.
NINJA: Maybe you are.
JET: And how about this: maybe I'm not poisoned. Maybe that was a bluff.
NINJA: You saw what happened to that other pirate right? Foaming green at the mouth, turning a brilliant shade of merlot?
JET: Different weapon. He was hit with thrown stuff, not the katana.
NINJA: I stabbed you with a kunai, not the katana.
JET: Wh-- oh. Right. Well then why am I not purple and foamy?
NINJA: Less of a dose. He took three heavy doses against your one.
JET: But I wasn't the target. McBeard was.
NINJA: Oh? Having a case of the clevers?
JET: He's a big, beefy guy. If the poison hasn't stopped me yet, it would do even less to him.
JET: So why do it? Couldn't be a normal assassination. And if it wasn't a straight up assassination, what was it?
NINJA: You tell me, clever girl. But remember one little thing. I'll tell you this: you are poisoned. And time is ticking past. And, just between you and me, this is probably the most fun I've had in years.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
After continually alternating A and B (or maybe entering a CHEAT CODE) you have successfully pursued the NINJA to the top of a PIRATE SKYSCRAPARR, possibly the tallest BUILDING on CORSAIR ISLE. The NINJA rushes to the EDGE and turns around to face you, holding a BOTTLE over the VERY LONG DROP. Holy CRAP, that was a long CHASE.
NINJA: Holy (huff) crap you are good at (puff) le parkour.
JET: You're not (huff) bad (puff) yourself.
NINJA: You sure (huff) you're not a (puff) ninja?
JET: Pretty sure (whuff!).
NINJA: Right. (huff) I assume you want (whuff!) the antidote?
JET: Yeah. (huff) Yeah, hand it over or (puff) I stab you (huff) or something... stabby.
NINJA: Nope, sorry (huff puff). Try it and the (huff) antidote (puff)... well, it drops. And breaks. (whuff!)
Holy crap, let's just take a second to catch our respective BREATHS. It's like you're still hitting A and B. You're going to go to bed with your fingers still twitching at A and B. Man. Whoa.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
You continue listening to the NINJA'S STORY.
NINJA: In the ninja dojo, I learned many lessons I would keep with me for the rest of my life. I learned the value of honor. The value of clan. The value of duty. I learned how to kill with knives, swords, bombs and double-barreled plasma shotguns. Additionally, I learned two very important tricks to use against the weak-minded. First, how to use a visual aid to distract people while you swap yourself out for a wooden dummy.
NINJA (VOICE-OVER): Second, I learned how to use slow-acting poisons on every single weapon I use.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
NINJA: The story starts a long time ago.
JET: Is this going to take a while?
NINJA: I don't know, maybe?
JET: Because I'm not sure how I feel about another long divergence from the main plot.
JET: Because I'm not sure how I feel about another long divergence from the main plot.
NINJA: What are you talking about?
JET: I'm asking the questions here!
NINJA: . . .
JET: . . .
NINJA: The story starts a long time ago. In a ninja dojo....
Monday, July 11, 2011
The NINJA ninja-swipes a COOKIE and ninja-noms into it.
NINJA: Sweet lords, cookies! A ninja's only weakness!
The NINJA finishes the COOKIE in record time.
NINJA: You... you win. I'll tell you everything I know.
You are amazed by the EFFICACY of the COOKIE OFFER TECHNIQUE. This is an information gathering tactic that you were unfamiliar with.*
*On an unrelated NOTE, if the NINJA kicks the NINJA BUCKET, you're totally swiping that KATANA.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
You move in for the INTERROGATION! (Finally!)
JET (BAD COP): OK, chump, you're going to give us answers, see?
BCF (GOOD COP): Well, I mean, if you want to....
JET: Even if you don't! Tell us--- WHERE IS JOHN CONNER???
JET: Don't play dumb, you--- wait, I meant to ask WHO SENT YOU???
NINJA: I'll never tell!
BCF: Wait, we already know that one, ma'am. Invisible Shogun.
JET: What? Oh, right. Well then HOW MANY OF YOU WERE SENT???
NINJA: I'll never tell!
BCF: If you help us, I can help you out. I'm a medic and that wound looks pretty---
JET: Oh, not going to talk, eh? Well YES YOU ARE GOING TO TALK! Or there will be pain!
NINJA: There's already pain!
JET: There will be MORE pain if you don't talk!
BCF: Contrariwise, contrition could constitute considerable comfort.
NINJA: What? (assorted pain noises because of... well... he's been stabbed, remember?)
JET: WERE THERE ANY OTHER TARGETS???
JET: Now we're getting somewhere! WHO ARE THE OTHER TARGETS???
NINJA: I'll never tell!
JET: Why you little---
BCF: Um, if you help us out Ninja, well...
>Be amazed by COOKIE EFFICACY
Thursday, July 7, 2011
BRAXLEY comes back bearing two different LAMPS. Apparently, your ORDERS were a tad VAGUE. You tell him to hold on to the OLD-TIMEY GENIE LAMP YOU MIGHT FIND A GENIE IN and to set up the FLOOR LAMP by the dying (but oddly patient) NINJA. You explain that you will be playing the role of BAD COP, while BRAXLEY is to attempt to be GOOD COP.
As he sets up the proper LAMP for INTERROGATION, BRAXLEY asks if you have any more last minute instructions. Like... specific questions. Or really, anything in particular to... um... interrogate the NINJA about.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Monday, July 4, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
JET: I guess I better interrogate that ninja before he dies, maybe find out why he was attacking that guy.
BCF: That guy? You mean Ironbeard McBeard, pirate captain and possibly the new Pirate Lord?
JET: What? That guy... was... he was Ironbeard McBeard? I KNEW THAT! Of course I knew that.
BCF: I never said---JET: DON'T QUESTION ME! I'M--- I'M NOT--- GOOD WITH... QUESTIONS! Let's... move on... shall we?
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
You (I) are (am) in your (my) SECRET WEBCOMIC LAIR. You (I) are (am) somewhat unhappy with your (my) PREVIOUS WEBCOMIC. You (I) are (am) very sorry for its DISTINCT LACK OF QUALITY and have decided to try it again TOMORROW. For tonight, you (I) plan to lounge around the LAIR, drink a SODA and play with some of your (my) STUFF, not even bothering to put up a COMIC.
Or... maybe you'll (I'll) put up a "META" COMIC.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
JET: Hey, by the way, what's your name?
BCF: Braxley "Coffee-Boots" Flynn.
JET: OK. How'd you get that nickname?
BCF: It involves a Tuesday night, a bag of coffee beans and sixteen Pirate Squirrels.
JET: Ah. That reminds me of an encounter I had with a traffic cone, a fish and a small wager. Good times.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
As a STRONG, INDEPENDENT WOMAN, you shake off your DAYDREAM and get down to business patching up your ARM (using your WICKED AWESOME HANDKERCHIEF).
JET: I'm glad I could help. Don't worry, I won't jump in front of any more knives any time soon.
IM (IMPRESSIVE MAN): Good ta hear.
You decide to head EAST and look around for M. BISON. He seems to have headed off on his own somewhere. Oh well, he can look out for himself. He's a freaking LIEUTENANT, after all! Strangely, you seem to have picked up CREWMAN #18 as a REPLACEMENT PARTY MEMBER since he's following you as you head out. Before you leave, the IMPRESSIVE MAN* glances over to you one more time.
IM (IMPRESSIVE MAN): By the by, lass. Ya seem ta be able to take care o' yerself, but here's a friendly word o' warnin'. Watch out fer two gents name o' Steelwood Corsair and Manbreath Threeplank. They're the right devils, lass.... Safe sailing.
You head EAST.
*On closer inspection, the Impressive Man's two-toned eyes come from the fact that his left eye (or right, if you're facing him) is pink, like a lot of blood vessels burst or he has pink-eye or something. Probably just another one of his many wounds.**
**Editor's note: FUN FACT! This links to a design evolution picture!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Originally, you were just developing a CRUSH on the IMPRESSIVE MAN, but frankly, this has turned into a much more developed M-M-M-MULTICRUSH, causing you to DAYDREAM about five possible PIRATE KING SHIPMATES. This is obviously more important than putting a BANDAGE on your ARM to prevent bleeding out.
*It's a pun.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Well, you've been stabbed in the ARM. You shout for the PIRATES to get the NINJA and the two BEARDED CREWMEN fire their HANDCANNONS, miss (because he's a NINJA), and chase the ASSASSIN off down the STREET. Your "friend," the COFFEE-STAINED CREWMAN, loiters nearby, GUN drawn.
You pull the KUNAI out of your arm and check your previously unknown HIT POINT TOTAL. Yeah, losing one HIT POINT didn't put much of a dent in the total. Maybe a little dent in your ARM, but that should heal up.
The FUSE-BEARDED GIANT PIRATE seems torn between watching the continuing BATTLE across the RIVER and hunting down the FLEEING NINJA*. He glances down to your ARM.
IM (IMPRESSIVE MAN): If ye let that go, ye might find yerself with a pretty little scar, lass. A couple o' good scars let people know yer nothin' to be trifled with.
He pauses, staring across the RIVER.
IM (IMPRESSIVE MAN): Ya have me thanks for taking that knife 'stead of my back, but that was a da'fool thin' ta do and I'd ask ya not ta repeat it.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Your head is hurting you pretty bad. There's been a dull aching at the back of your mind since you woke up up the BUREAUCRAT'S OFFICE, but now it's starting to make it hard to think. Noticing that you don't have any VARIOUS MONIES*, you ask CREWMAN #18 if you can bum some VARIOUS MONIES to buy a COFFEE. He actually seems to care for your WELL-BEING and hands you his own COFFEE, saying that you obviously need it more than he does.You take a couple of deep swigs of the DRINK and look around.
It's a NINJA! IN DISGUISE!!!
And this COFFEE is FANTASTIC!!!
>Yell "look out," fling RANDOM INVENTORY and dive (in SLOW MOTION) to save MR TWINKLY BEARD from OBVIOUS NINJA IN OBVIOUS DISGUISE
Monday, June 13, 2011
You immediately point out that there's a---
NINJA? What NINJA? You're, you're...
Oh, you should talk to that CREWMAN! STEELWOOD CORSAIR and his CREW seem to have their HEADS screwed on pretty tight. Maybe he knows something about the NINJA to whom you supposedly owe a FAVOR.
JET: Evening, sailor!
CREWMAN #18: Miss Thunderson.
JET: Quick question. Know anything about a captured ninja in the prison?
CREWMAN #18: Aye. We caught one purplebelly who was trying to sneak around this side of the city. Stinking wet, probably just crawled out of the river. Didn't put up a fight so some of Threeplank's boys hauled him over to the Penitentiary.
JET: Tell your boss that he... that he.... You know what, never mind. I think.... I think we're....
CREWMAN #18: ...ma'am?
JET: ...getting off topic....
You come out the NORTH end of the SOUTH ALLEY and look to your WEST. There is a COFFEE SHOP here called "Starboards" which is still open and serving DRINKS (probably to keep these PIRATES fighting through the night). There are a few TABLES in front of the SHOP, along with a wonderful RIVERFRONT VIEW to the WEST.
Three GRIZZLED PIRATES stand by the EDGE, staring off across the RIVER. They appear to be watching the PUGILISTIC ACTIVITIES with calm but keen INTEREST, seemingly unworried by the occasional NINJA STAR, KUNAI or EXPLOSIVE that flies their way. Other persons of interest include the BARRISTA in the SHOP who is serving one of STEELWOOD CORSAIR'S CREW, the aforementioned CREWMAN and one of the blue-clothed PIRATE GUARDS like you've seen all over the ISLAND.
Exits are NORTH through the NORTH ALLEY, WEST into the RIVER, EAST down this STREET and SOUTH back through the SOUTH ALLEY to the BRIDGE SQUARE.
What do you do?
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
You slowly turn to face the GOTH PIRATE, your hidden HAND nervously gripping the HANDLE of the STYLIZER. You squint at HIM. He squints at YOU. You both glance around surreptitiously.
JILL: Those things will kill you---
GOTH: Yeah, life is pain, sister.
JILL: You didn't let me finish. If they don't kill you... I might.
GOTH: I'd be scared, but the only emotion I know is existential sadness.
JILL: Well you'll be feeling the dank miasma of me kicking you in the nads if you don't get to the point. What do you want?
GOTH: Fine, fine, whatever. You didn't hear this from me, but a certain ninja gave me a message for you.
JILL: I don't... I don't know any ninjas.
GOTH: Well this one knows you, says you owe him a favor.
JILL: I don't owe anyone anything!
GOTH: I'm just passing on a message, sister. He said to pay him a visit. He's locked up in the island penitentiary, up north and east from here.
JILL: I'll keep that in mind. Consider the message delivered.
GOTH: Whatever. Life is pain.
JILL: SO IS THIS CONVERSATION!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Well, this BATTLE seems to be a great little STALEMATE and looks to continue as such for some time to come. FUN is fun, but it's time to get down to the SERIOUS BUSINESS of finding the third and final PIRATE CAPTAIN in the running for PIRATE LORD. Since he isn't immediately visible here in the TOWN SQUARE he must be to the NORTH. (You're like a DETECTIVE!)
As you scoop up three moar NINJA STARS and proceed up the ALLEY, you hear SOMEONE whispering and trying to get your ATTENTION. It seems the GOTH PIRATE has something to say to you.
What do you do?
Monday, June 6, 2011
Man, it feels like you've been shooting across that river for two weeks! Let's go over what we've been up to recently.
- You woke up on the SHORE.
- You went to a LIGHTHOUSE and talked to some PIRATES who filled you in on LOCAL EVENTS.
- You walked into TOWN and found out about the UPCOMING PIRATE LORD ELECTION.
- You met STEELWOOD CORSAIR and agreed to help him win the ELECTION.
- You met MANBREATH THREEPLANK and agreed to help him win the ELECTION.
- You... passed out.
- You woke up and went out to explore more of the TOWN.
- You blasted away across the RIVER* and then got to this RECAP!
Hooray! Time to get back down to BUSINESS. What should you do next?
*Specifically, you blasted away at some NINJA, some of whom recently killed the former PIRATE LORD.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
I am moving to a new RESIDENCE! This week will be taken up by packing BOXES and moving said BOXES, and with the VICIOUS COMPLICATIONS arising from switching TEH INTERNETS from one PLACE to the next, I'm just going to go ahead and take the week off from WICKED AWESOME ADVENTURE. The WEBCOMIC will resume when I get INTERNET ACCESS at the new PLACE on
ADDITIONALLY! Should you have any W.A.A. ART or GUEST COMICS to submit, feel free to send them in via the CONTACT E-MAIL ADDRESS and I'll (probably) put them up this week!
UPDATE! I won't be getting TEH INTERNETS at my new place until the end of next week! So next update (hopefully) on FRIDAY, JUNE THIRD! Sorry!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
You don the RED DOMINO MASK, HEAD-KER-CHIEF, and WHITE COTTON GLOVES you took from the unconscious (now dead) CORSAIR PIRATE. Your disguise is perfect*! Dual wielding your STYLIZER and a FLINTLOCK PISTOL, you leap atop a (recently vacated) BARREL and start firing across the BRIDGE. M. Bison joins in beside you, armed with a BRACE OF PISTOLS and raw COMBAT INSTINCTS.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
You are immediately drawn to the PYRAMIDAL PILE OF PLUMP, PERFECT PICKLES. Unfortunately, your path is somewhat blocked by the PUGILISTIC POSSE OF PIRATE PERSONS currently engaged in diplomacy with a group of SHADOWY FORMS across the RIVER. While you can't be entirely sure, it's a pretty safe bet that those are the NINJA of the INVISIBLE SHOGUN who killed the former PIRATE LORD, SILVER JIM PEGBEARD. It appears that STEELWOOD CORSAIR is leading the defense at this position.
Well, might as well pump the PUBLIC INFORMATION PIRATE on duty for information. He appears to be quite young, and the ACNE scarring and BOYISH EXPRESSION support that theory. Also, the frighteningly high pitch of his VOICE.
PUBLIC INFORMATION PIRATE (PIP): Hi! Welcome to the public info desk! We arr always happy to help you with any and all questions! About anything!
JET: Thanks! Question the first: how do I get on the roof of the produce market without climbing straight up the outside wall?
PIP: What? Um.... I don't think... um....
(You duck as a NINJA STAR flies past and embeds itself in a nearby WALL.)
JET: You said any and all questions!
PIP: Um. Arr! I did say that! But I don't actually know. Really! No one's asked that before!
JET: That's disappointing. Thanks anyway!
PIP: Um, it's arr pleasure!