Monday, July 24, 2017

419 - Acquire HANDHELD DEVICE from WITCH

Under the ASSUMPTION that the DEVICE held by the WITCH holds the key to the secrets of the ANCIENT TEMPLE, you immediately ask to take possession of it.

(Immediately, that is, after sending out for a GUEST BADGE for the WITCH and replacement EMPLOYEE BADGES for your LEAD SCIENTISTS. Certain... irregularities needed corrected immediately to comply with STANDARD LABORATORY OPERATING PROCEDURE. It needed to be done post haste, because the last thing you need is a team of COMPLIANCE TESTERS coming in and disrupting your VALUABLE WORK just because you've failed to dot a few Is or cross a few Ts! BUREAUCRATS!)

After getting her bearings, the WITCH looks forlornly at the jury-rigged DEVICE. She says that it is only half the DEVICE it used to be. It's broken.

>

Friday, July 21, 2017

418 - View MONUMENTAL THING


Something is coming through the RIFT...!

It's...


It's a STEREOTYPICAL WITCH? That's not what was expected. You have no idea where or when she came from!

>

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

417 - Be CAPTAIN

As the CAPTAIN of the EXPEDITION, it falls on you to...

OK, we're actually the PRISONER again.

You and your CRACK TEAM of SUPER SCIENTISTS stare intently at the SPACE-TIME DISTORTION RIFT. According to your meticulous and totally scientific RESEARCH, something big should be happening soon. Any moment now, really. This is the culmination of all of your work thus far on the EXPEDITION and should bring about something absolutely game-changing, something so monumental and momentous that there's no way you can adequately describe how monumental and momentous it will be.

Staring intently at the RIFT will have to suffice for the NONCE. But any moment now, SOMETHING* will happen.

What could it be?

>

*Both monumental and momentous, presumably

Monday, July 17, 2017

416 - Move somehow?

Hmm. As a SKULL, your ability to do practically anything borders on nonexistent.

So... yeah.

Let's be SOMEONE ELSE, shall we?

>

Friday, July 14, 2017

415 - Get SURGERY

You ask DAVE if he can spare 2460 VARIOUS MONIES. He says no, but...

...he can spare a TEMPLE EMPLOYEE HEALTH INSURANCE MEDI-CHIT that should cover the more expensive OPERATION. He pops it into the COIN SLOT, along with your 40 VARIOUS MONIES.

With your approval, DAVE keys in the bilateral trans-femoral lower extremity nanotech prostheses installation OPERATION. A GLASS TUBE comes down and secures to the base, creating a hermetic seal. As the MERCENARY thinks to finally question what exactly a bilateral trans-femoral lower extremity nanotech prostheses installation is, DAVE hits the Y button and the OPERATION is confirmed. The TUBE begins to fill with SLEEPY-TYMEZ GAS™ and the MERCENARY fades into unconsciousness.

So...

Um...

You're SKULLY now?
>

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

414 - Use AUTODOC

Putting down your WEAPONS, you awkwardly (but solidly) balance in the AUTODOC CHAMBER. After a few taps from DAVE on the CONSOLE, the SCANNER turns on and assesses your injuries.

Congratulations! You have a CLOSED DISPLACED OBLIQUE FEMORAL FRACTURE!

The AUTODOC 1,000 presents two available treatment options and their associated costs.
  • Surgical bone setting, immobilization, and casting - 40 VARIOUS MONIES
  • Bilateral trans-femoral lower extremity nanotech prostheses installation - 2500 VARIOUS MONIES
You have 40 VARIOUS MONIES available. What do you do?

>Get SURGERY

Monday, July 10, 2017

413 - Inquire about AUTODOC

You ask DAVE what's up: AUTODOC because you seriously need to get this MACHINE to fix your LEG.

DAVE explains that one day the AUTODOC 1,000 AUTOMATIC DOCTOR MACHINE simply stopped working. As he was the only EMPLOYEE left at the time, when he couldn't fix it it just stayed broken. He notes that if you could find some way to fix it, it might be able to do something about your LEG.

You just sort of plug in the AUTODOC.

It's super effective! The AUTODOC 1,000 AUTOMATIC DOCTOR MACHINE is functional!

You gain 112 Experience Points!
You gain 10 Various Monies!

Skully Disapproves! 
(-10% Cranial Comradery)
Friendship perk removed: Thick Skulled

+50 Faction Reputation: Electricians' Guild
New faction title unlocked: Junior Apprentice Electrical Repairman
New badge unlocked: Junior Apprentice Electrical Repairman Badge

>Use AUTODOC

Friday, July 7, 2017

412 - Travel UP, SOUTH, WEST; Regretfully inform POTTED PLANT of TRAGIC LOSS

With painful effort, you limp UP the STAIRS, clamber SOUTH through the FOOD STALL WINDOWS (past the "VENDORS"), and WEST from the devastated FOOD COURT to the LOBBY. This is the only other POTTED PLANT that you have seen in your journey.

You doff your MULTI-HAT respectfully and give the POTTED PLANT the NEWS.

PLANTEA THE PLANT receives the NEWS stoically and says nothing. Your DUTY has been fulfilled.

You gain 200 Experience Points!
You gain 15 Various Monies!
You gain 7 Duty Points!

Skully Approves! 
(+5% Cranial Comradery)
New Cranial Comradery total: 10%

2 out of 12 Potted Plants notified
+50 Faction Reputation: Potted Plants
Total Faction Reputation (Potted Plants): 100

You then proceed back to DAVE (going EAST, NORTH (through FOOD STALL WINDOW), and DOWN). Everything on the STAIR LANDING is just as you left it.

>Inquire about AUTODOC

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

411 - Regretfully inform POTTED PLANT of TRAGIC LOSS

Seeing the POTTED PLANT by the STAIRS, you realize that it is your DUTY to inform them, as next of kin, of the tragic loss of PLANTY THE PLANT, a POTTED PLANT recently lost, tragically. You doff your MULTI-HAT respectfully and give them the NEWS.

PLANTIE THE PLANT receives the NEWS stoically and says nothing. Your DUTY has been fulfilled. 

You gain 200 Experience Points!
You gain 15 Various Monies!
You gain Stair Pretzel!
You gain 7 Duty Points!

Skully Approves! 
(+5% Cranial Comradery)
New friendship perk unlocked: Thick Skulled

1 out of 12 Potted Plants notified
+50 Faction Reputation: Potted Plants
New faction title unlocked: Sub-Assistant Gardener
New badge unlocked: Sub-Assistant Gardener Badge

>Travel UP, SOUTH, WEST; Regretfully inform POTTED PLANT of TRAGIC LOSS

Monday, July 3, 2017

410 - Arrive WEST

Your MINI-PARTY arrives on the LANDING where DAVE awaits you. He informs you that the DUCT TAPE you requested is down in the BOILER ROOM.

The LANDING itself is exactly what you would expect: An intersection of STAIRS and the HALLWAY to the BREAK ROOM. Other things in the room are a PRETZEL, a POTTED PLANT, a SECURITY CAMERA, an AUTODOC 1000, a PACKAGED CYBEREYE, and some ASSORTED MEDICATIONS.

DAVE waits for you to join him and head down the STAIRS.

Exits are UP, DOWN, and EAST.

What do you do?

>Regretfully inform POTTED PLANT of TRAGIC LOSS