Wednesday, March 22, 2017

366 - Guide TOUR

The CAPTAIN orders the SCHOLAR to guide a TOUR for the TOURISTS.

But... the SCHOLAR doesn't know a thing about the EXHIBITS in this ROOM!

They'll all think he's some kind of FRAUDULENT FRAUD frauding up some FRAUDS! Fakely!

Of course, there's always the SPECIAL TECHNIQUE that all ACADEMICS learn from their INSTRUCTORS. It's dangerous. It could potentially kill everyone in the ROOM. But when you need to sound smart at a moment's notice about a subject you're only half-familiar with, sometimes you need to put your BRAIN on automatic and just let the MOUTH do what it does.

The SCHOLAR puts down the PAN FLUTE.

The SCHOLAR dons his BUCKLED HAT.

It's go time.


It's super effective! Never before have so many words been used to say so little.

>

Monday, March 20, 2017

365 - Find MONEY?

The SCHOLAR would like some MONEY, in case purchases are necessary at some point during their QUEST. Purchases such as a REFRESHING BEVERAGE. Hint hint, CAPTAIN.

The DONATION BOX would most likely have EASY CASH. Robbing it would probably be morally reprehensible. "Probably" in this case meaning "definitely." Alternatively, the CAPTAIN and SCHOLAR could get a JOB, if only they could find one.

The TOURISTS approach the adventurous DUO. Oh, for fun! They explain that they are TOURISTS, don'tcha know, and it would be just great if they could find some TOUR GUIDES to come with. They may even pay enough for the SCHOLAR to get some POP. You betcha!

(The CAPTAIN compliments the TOURIST'S MUSTACHE. In return, the TOURIST complements the CAPTAIN'S CLAY AND AMETHYST SKULL'S MUSTACHE.)

>

Friday, March 17, 2017

364 - Get SKULL

The two ADVENTURERS agree to a PLAN to reach the CLAY AND AMETHYST SKULL. The CAPTAIN thinks the PLAN is great. The SCHOLAR thinks it is the worst thing since CLOTHING WITHOUT BUCKLES.

In order to hold on to the new TREASURE, the CAPTAIN is forced to combine ITEMS within the INVENTORY.
The SCHOLAR would like some SODA after his ORDEAL, but he has no VARIOUS MONIES with which to purchase REFRESHING BEVERAGES.

>Find MONEY?

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

363 - Finally, Go EAST

With a final gift from the MERCENARY, the CAPTAIN and SCHOLAR head through the EASTERN DOOR.

You are in a LOBBY.

According to the SIGN, this appears to be some kind of MUSEUM. Two DISPLAYS are visible, currently being examined by a pair of TOURISTS. Some kind of ANCIENT SODA DISPENSING DEVICE is plugged in near the door, with a CLAY AND AMETHYST SKULL sitting on top of it. You can also see DECORATIVE POTTED FLORA and a MUSEUM DONATION BOX.

Exits are WEST, NORTH, and EAST.

What do you do?

>Get SKULL

Monday, March 13, 2017

362 - Determine POLL RESULTS


The WRITER pauses the WEBCOMIC and comes in to talk to the CHARACTERS. It seems there's a PROBLEM. In the POLL to see who would "Go EAST," there was a three-way tie between the MERCENARY, the SCHOLAR, and the CAPTAIN. The WRITER decides to take matters into his own HANDS and resolve it in the BEST POSSIBLE WAY.

/Andrew rolls 3d6


The results: Scholar 6, Captain 4, Mercenary 1.

The SCHOLAR and the CAPTAIN would proceed to the EAST in the next EPISODE. Great, good job everyone. The MERCENARY and the PRISONER would stay behind and--Wait, where's the PRISONER?

Oh, he's threatening an old ANCILLARY CHARACTER and demanding that the MULE KICK MINION surrender either his MONEY or his LIFE. Oh, that PRISONER. What a CARD!

>Finally, go EAST