Wednesday, April 26, 2017

381 - Have a nice TRIP

You are in pain. A SIREN is sounding. There are a lot of RED FLASHING LIGHTS. SECURITY DOORS have slammed shut. You have dropped your INVENTORY.

Surely, surely, this can't get any worse.

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Monday, April 24, 2017

380 - Read WARNING PAMPHLET

One of the brochures bears the traditional SIGIL OF PERIL, also known as an exclamation point in a triangle. If it truly bears ANCIENT WISDOM, perhaps reading it will save you from some HORRIBLE MISSTEP that would lead to your UNTIMELY DEMISE.
While you can't directly translate the ANCIENT WISDOM, you can sort of tell what it says. I mean, kind of. There's an unpleasant amount of guesswork involved. The main thing that you can glean is that you must not anger the great god KURDZTILTN, lest you face his unbearable, BLOOD-CURDLING WRATH and NIGH-IMMEDIATE VENGEANCE. Staying on his good side shouldn't be too difficult, right? (Also, the PAMPHLET says, don't trigger the SECURITY SYSTEM. It's there for your protection.)

Well, nothing to do now but to walk across the ROOM (without tripping) and head EAST to whatever is---SWEET KURDZTILTN!

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Friday, April 21, 2017

379 - Plot VENGENCE

Once, you were whole. Once, you were fresh and minding your own business. Then, the foot came. You were crushed. Now, only one thought remains:

REVENGE.

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Wednesday, April 19, 2017

378 - Determine ANCIENTNESS

You begin to determine the ANCIENTNESS ATTRIBUTES of the ASWORDED CUTLERY, but your mad SCHOLASTIC SKILLZ go kind of haywire and you date everything in the ROOM. Except the TOURISTS. They're taken.

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Monday, April 17, 2017

377 - Fine, forget the MOUSETRAP

With the Quikskim© of the BROCHURE complete, your TOUR is going swimmingly. Your FACTS are, in fact, based on FACTS, and that is proving popular with the TOUR GROUP. But even as you speak with renewed confidence (and with the TOUR GROUP), it's almost like you've found yourself in MEDIA RES, or one of the surrounding boroughs. A quick RECAPITULATION of the ENVIRONS may be in order.

You are in an EXHIBITION HALL (sponsored by Quetzelcolatl©). Three clay MANNEQUINS in AUTHENTIC HISTORICAL GARB stand along the NORTH wall, behind a LASER SECURITY GRID. Two SECURITY CAMERAS keep an eye on everything. A BROCHURE STAND near the door contains BROCHURES (one of which you have taken and read). The two other DISPLAYS in the room contain two FLINTY CLUB-SWORDS and a GOLD SKULL WITH JET EYES.

Exits are WEST (back to the LOBBY where the CAPTAIN© was so mean) and EAST.

What do you do?

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