Sunday, May 30, 2010

1035 - Lead a SQUADRON of TEDDY BOARS against EVIL CLONE and his ARMY of TEDDY BISON

This is the first alt text. Awesome!
You've been through so much to get to this moment. Syhr stands before you, one pistol pointed at you, the other.... The red laser sight gleams, even in the bright warehouse, resting unwaveringly on Teddy's face. You've been searching for him since he was kidnapped, so long ago, by the bandits, long before the cloning, the moonbase, the nuclear debacle, and the revenge of the Rokkiteers.

But you've assembled all of the Teddy Boar Gang to rescue their brother from Syhr and the Shadow Bison Armada. Above you, Specs is on the catwalk. The Sheriff is coming through the door now, followed by the Postman. Feral Scope is providing overwatch from a box, his twitchy trigger hoof a millimeter from ending it all. The Mauser Twins came too, after you made it up to them for killing their brother, the Mauser Triplet. You broke Toy Box out of prison, needing his explosive expertise to get into Syhr's base. Buckaroo watches General Balrog, Syhr's right hoof; no doubt Buckaroo wants revenge for that scar over his eye. And there's Tiny with his bazooka; he may have betrayed you to Mueller, but gods help him, he wants Teddy back as much as any of you.

This is it. The final showdown with the time-traveling clone that set this all up, so long ago in the future.

SYHR: It's too bad you came all this way just to die, brother. 
RHYS: Let Teddy go.
SYHR: Oh, I will. Just as soon as you give me the Code!
RHYS: We both know that's not gonna happen.
SYHR: Do you think you're fast enough to take me out? Faster than your genetically-enhanced clone?
RHYS: Oh, I don't think I'm faster. I don't need to be.
SYHR: What are you talking about?

You use the PEANUT DEUS EX MACHINA MACHINE.

>Return to CANON

5 comments:

Andrew said...

No, this isn't actually canon. This turn is the Wicked Epic reward for Ryan for correctly identifying George Washington Carver. Regular updates will resume tomorrow!

Andrew said...

Addendum: Awesome suggestion.

Ryan said...

Wow! This is even more awesome than I imagined it would be!

Haha, thanks. Though I have to say you're the one that made it an awesome one. Also I love the Teddy Bisons design.

Kyle said...

What happened to Teddy's Tusks? Will that ever be explained?

Andrew said...

Since that was obviously not just a gaff of the author's... it was torture. Curse you, Syhr Nahallaco!