Wednesday, May 26, 2010

100 - Plan, place CAN and scan, before MAN (arrives)

You retrieve the CAN OF ROKKIT JUICE from your POCKET and slip it into the DRINK CAN RETRIEVAL AREA. Your master plan? Gain appeasement from SHOPKEEPER (re: outrageous incorrect beverage) and parlay leverage into a hefty SETTLEMENT. You... do not seem to be taking your job as MARSHAL very seriously....

Therefore...
...you check inside the STRUCTURE for anything that isn't nailed down. There is quite a bit, but as the SIGN would indicate, it's JUST PEANUTS.

A short list (not capitalized because you decide to scan with your indoor voice) of the items would include the following: Peanuts, peanut brittle, peanut oil, peanut butter, peanut shaving cream, peanut plastics, peanut shoe polish, peanut grease, peanut fuel, peanut rope, peanut clothing, peanut paint, peanut lipstick, peanut nitroglycerin, peanut mayonnaise, peanut coffee, peanut milk substitute, peanut DNA substitute, peanut bombers, peanut moonshine, peanut hair tonic, peanutsicles, peanut playing cards, peanut boar repellent, peanut spray paint, peanut packing peanuts, peanut circus peanuts (the orange peanut-sugar candies), peanut glue, peanut drones, peanut armor, peanut flour, peanut cutlery, peanut cell phone, peanut laptop, peanut insecticide, peanut action figures, peanut shelving units, peanut laxatives, peanut wax, and peanut-derived epinephrine (now with extra peanut!).

Anything you want to snag before the SHOPKEEPER gets back?

>Face MORAL DILEMMA

5 comments:

Matt said...

NO! You are a MARSHALL, for the gods sakes! You are a PARAGON of UPRIGHTNESS and TRUSTWORTHINESS. STEALING is so far beneath you, you PURGE that thought from your MIND as soon as it ENTERS, CURSING your SUBCONSCIOUS that it would even harbor such a thought.

WAIT for the SHOPKEEPER to ARRIVE, and ASK him about the STATE of HIS LIFE and also of WORLD AFFAIRS.

And also if he happens to know where you might find FORT FERRIS.

And also WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THE DEAD SANDWORM OVER THERE?!?!?!?!/1/1/

Andrew said...

How do I make that a one line command?

">Have an EXISTENTIAL CRISIS before consulting SHOPKEEPER about LIFE, UNIVERSE and EVERYTHING (and FORT FERRIS) and then flip out over DEAD SANDWORM"?

Matt said...

Sounds GOOD to ME.

Mike said...

imagine self in awesome peanut armor

Andrew said...

The alternate name for this one is "A PLAN, A CAN, A MAN, PANAMA"