Tuesday, September 7, 2010

179 - Explain... more...

CAD: OK, bear with me here. I'm not actually his owner, really. I'm his operator. See, he's actually a robot Teddyborg. Or something. And---
GHG: How stupid do you think we are?
CAD: Which one of you? No, see, look at this sweet cybernetic eye I'm going to be installing in him when I get a chance! Robot! Totally!
GHG: Why you stupid---
PHG: Argh! Both of you, shut the f---

A HOVERSAUR bearing a CASTLE SOLDIER swoops down the stairs and stops before the GRIZZLED WARROR

HR (HOVERSAUR RIDER): General! Thank goodness I found you.
HR: I escorted a duo of adventurers upstairs to rescue the Princess. While up there, I recieved word that a Mule Kick Air Cruiser was inbound.
GW: What? But we only sent out the distress signal an hour ago! Unless...
HR: Sir?
GW: Unless Mule Kick knew the Candimps were going to strike! If they're in league, we have no time to lose. Give me your Hoversaur. I need to get to the King immediately! Head back upstairs, help those adventurers save the Princess. Wizard! You need to get through the kitchen and rescue the Queen!
CAD: (Offscreen) Can't we just stand around for a few more turns and do nothing productive?
GW: NO! We need to move this plot along! Get to the beacon! I mean, get to the Queen!

GENERAL WARRIOR mounts the HOVERSAUR and swoops over the railing, disappearing downstairs. The former HOVERSAUR RIDER disappears back up the stairs. The members of PETT pull out GRAPPLING HOOK GUNS and fire skyward.

PHG: A Mule Kick airship? They have shoot-on-sight instructions to deal with any Pirates for the Ethical Treatment of Teddys!
GHG: First mate, we've got to get back to the ship!
PHG: Yeah. But this isn't over, Wizard. We'll be back for the Hippo.
GHG: You've made a powerful enemy this day. Someday, we'll free all the Teddys. FOR FREEDOM!
DD: freeeeeedom!

They soar up toward the vaulted ceiling. There's probably, like, a window, or something up there. Probably. Is that really a concern for you guys right now? I mean, really? They have grappling guns like freaking Batman and you're interested in the architectural nuances of a freaking castle filled with Candimps and Hoversaurs? There are freaking dinosaurs with rockets for legs/feet! Gosh! You know what? Just for that, we're gonna do a quick cut-away somewhere else while I seethe. So...


MC (MULE CREWMAN): Captain, we're only fifteen minutes out from the castle, sir.
MC (MALEVOLENT CAPTAIN) wait, same initials, dang it! OK.
EE (EVIL EXECUTIVE): excellent. our plan continues on shed-ule. so much depends upon... it. MWAHAHAHA!

CADUNGERY MUFFINBOTTOM III stands in the same room where he has been, along with PADDINGTON SATCHMO HIPPOPOTAMUS I and THE TEDDY WHALE. His (Cad's) mission to save the QUEEN (Remember? We agreed?) is once again free from obstacles. What will he do?



Mike R said...


Unknown said...

PADDINGTON rushes the door, and BASHES it open! (Ignoring all potential high-velocityraptors that are known to inhabit kitchens... and use doors...)

Also, the Hoversaur's jets ignite the CANDIMP remains, starting a (progress driving) inferno!

Obes said...

Look back at chads raging inferno and see flaming zombies!

Grab teddy whale cause Padd-bro seems to have feelings for her.

Obes said...

but first, grab the sprinkled doughnut. your hungry(possibly for mana).

Shar said...

Once in the kitchen, make a fabulous SANDWICH for the QUEEN, because she's been barricaded in her room at least since BREAKFAST (and if you hadn't eaten since breakfast, you'd only want to be rescued by a hero with a frikkin' ENORMOUS SANDWICH).

Tobias said...

A hero sandwich, perhaps?