You offer the BOARD GAME PLAYERS quadrant triangles of the STBSEMFWYHAATT. The QUEEN LADY accepts one, as does RED SPECTACLES. MONOCLE PIPE refuses.
MP: Sorry, chappy. Can't be too careful with what's what, eh?
MP: When some fine fellow offers you a sandwich in the middle of a warzone, well, venomous diplomacy being what it is, surely you understand.
QL: He's referring to poison, my dear boy. These sandwiches aren't poisoned, are they?
CAD: What? No.
RS: So you say. Unfortunately we can't confirm that, can we?
The QUEEN LADY and RED SPECTACLES munch happily away on their TRIANGLES.
CAD: OK, that's cool. I guess.
MP: Quite so! Cool indeed!
RS: And crisp lettuce!
MP: And who are you anyway?
CAD: My name is Cad---
QL: He's obviously a wizard. Need we say more?
CAD: Uh, need we? If yeah, my name is Cad---
MP: Well, no, you're correct, Majesty. Quite improprietous of me to ask such!
CAD: OK. Whatever. What are you guys doing anyway?
QL: We're having a battle.
CAD: Uh, no. No you're not. I've seen battle. This isn't that.
MP: It's a battle of wits.
CAD: For the Queen?
CAD: To the death?
MP: *nods* You see, friend, we two were sent to apprehend or dismember the Queen.
RS: Either way, really.
MP: But she's a clever foe.
RS: Hence, why we two specifically were dispatched for this task.
MP: So we challenged her to a battle by proxy, and here we are.
QL: Quite a civil war.
What the SAM W. HECK is wrong with theses guys?
>Heft WHALE, search for MIXOLOGY CRAP