CAD: OK, Alan, I'm gonna run a few more things past you. Let me know the odds, would ya?
ALAN: I can do that.
MP: Are you both quite serious? It's not like I have all day here!
ALAN: It appears that you were recently playing a board game. Was that an efficient use of time?
MP: There were extenuating circumstances!
CAD: Alan! What if I throw my hanky and it summons a bull? The bull would attack him because he's red, right?MP: Racist.
ALAN: That's not how hankerchiefs work, Cad. Or bulls. Bulls are colorblind, like most mammals.
CAD: So why do they attack those bull fighter guys with the red capes?
ALAN: They're attracted to the motion of the "muleta," not its color. I think I've told you this before.
CAD: Whatever. Odds on punching him in the face and solving everything?
ALAN: One in 5000.
CAD: Odds of Paddington Hippo and sick red guy magically getting better without the potion and all of us becoming friends?
ALAN: One in 47,400.
CAD: Odds of the Barbershop Dishware learning the true meaning of love and eviscerating the guy on the table while singing "Welcome to the Jungle?"
ALAN: One in 548,200.
MP: One in 548,215!
ALAN: Hum. Yes, I can accept those numbers.
CAD: OK. Geez. Um. Odds of... me casting a time stop, switching the icecream cone and the gun, administering the antidote to Paddington through the vevuzela and stabbing one-eye-lens guy with the singing carving knife?
ALAN: One in 999,999.
CAD: ...all while on one leg?
ALAN: ...one million to one against.
CAD: I like those odds!