Thursday, April 22, 2010

56 - Examine VENDING MACHINES

56 - Examine VENDING MACHINES.(56) Hmm. More VENDING MACHINES that you don't recognize. You examine each carefully.

The yellow one is a ROKKIT JUICE VENDING MACHINE, bright yellow and featuring a mascot named DOCTOR EXPLODEY VON BRAUN. According to DR. VON BRAUN's claims on the MACHINE, "ROKKIT JUICE is an EXPLOSION of FLAVOR that will LAUNCH you into the OUTER TASTEOSPHERE, after which you will be SICK BURNED by the BREATHTAKING ROKKIT REENTRY of AFTERTASTE which will BLAST with you through your MUCH IMPROVED day!" You are not sure, but this may be advertising-based hyperbole. The HEALTH NOTICE ranks this drink as MILDLY DANGEROUS.

The brown one is a MULE KICK VENDING MACHINE. It seems to be a much more down-to-earth brand than the yellow one. Its motto is also simpler: "Ride the Mule, Feel the Kick." According to the HEALTH NOTICE, this drink is ranked as MODERATELY DANGEROUS.

The red one is a ONE UP VENDING MACHINE, which also appears to have doubled as the hatch to your REFUGE. The top half of the MACHINE is hidden through a snugly fitted HOLE in the CEILING. This MACHINE is a bit different than the one you encountered earlier, but it is definitely the same brand. You can see the HEALTH NOTICE on this one; apparently, ONE UP is ranked as ANTITHETICALLY DANGEROUS, whatever that means.

Each DRINK costs 5 VARIOUS MONIES to purchase. The ONE UP VENDING MACHINE is inoperable.

>Check BLADDER

4 comments:

Matt said...

PURCHASE ONE (1) of each SODA available in each VENDING MACHINE.

CHECK BLADDER...does our fearless character need to PEE from that ONE-UP he consumed earlier?

If so, ENTER MEN'S BATHROOM.

If not, INVESTIGATE MUSIC.

Chad said...

CHECK CHANGE SLOT

KICK MULE KICK MACHINE

Andrew said...

These are all good!

Joel said...

I concure with Matt: buy one of each soda, consume them simultaneously, and observe the effects.

Then DISCOVER that you have a Howard Hughes-esque germ phobia when you go to relieve yourself in either restroom, leaving you unable to touch the door handle and hereafter TRAPPED in said restroom.