Saturday, July 3, 2010

138 - Use PAINTBRUSH with IRONY

First things first. The most important thing to do right now is open PAINTBRUSH.EXE and draw a picture of RHYS trapped in a ROOM, like you were, and acting like a TOTAL FOOL, like he usually does. Hehehe. There's drool coming out of his mouth.

On a more serious note, you begin to wonder what's going on with him. Why did he brush you off with that MACHINE of his down in the DUCTWORK? Why is he here? Why are there FREAKING STATUES of him in the CENTRAL HUB of this FREAKING UNDERWATER COMPLEX? The sooner you can figure out what's going on with everything, the better.

You save your picture, wishing that you could upload it to whatever INTERNETS are extant in the present, creating the first in a series of WEBCOMIC PANELS which will enthrall and delight MILLIONS OF READERS. FREAKING MILLIONS.

You glance up to the ONSCREEN HEADER and look how long it has been since this COMPUTER was last accessed. If you're reading it right, it was 148 years, 3 months, 17 days, 6 hours, 35 minutes, and 20 seconds between the most recent previous access and your own, just a few minutes ago. But of course that's not possible. That would mean this COMPUTER was built in the 1800's. You scoff at the notion. YOU SCOFF QUITE LOUDLY AND CONFIDENTLY AND NOT IN ANY WAY SCARED OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MIND.

Then you check the HELP file.
It looks like a MAP of the UPPER LEVELS of this COMPLEX. Your current position is identified to be beside ROOM 1, ELLIOT'S ROOM. You see your own ROOM, number 4, off to the right. Apparently, the LADDER in the HUB leads up to a DOCKING LEVEL, where a BATHYSPHERE is docked (one of two that are supposed to be there). The STAIRS in the HUB lead down to... BELOW. That's not helpful at all.

And according to this WARNING, the HELP function has been disabled anyway.

Grr.

Well, you'll try the CAMERA FUNCTION next. With any luck, you'll be able to see what killed ELLIOT and maybe get a better view of what's going on around here.

>Use CAMERAS to watch ELLIOT

2 comments:

Andrew said...

In case anyone else plans on pointing out that the help file really isn't much of a .txt file (what with the picture and the input and what all), I KNOW. Maybe this .txt doesn't mean TeXT, but rather stands for Totally eXtreme Toolkit.

That's what I'm going with.

Chad said...

PONDER if the CORPSE was a FAKE.