CAD: OK, OK, OK, dog. How's about this: why are you attacking the castle, cat dog?
CD: Ah, good question. Hopefully it will help me recover from that duck nonsense.
GW: Wizard, we don't have time for this.
CAD: Shh, man. Just... shh.
CD: It's fairly straightforward, really. By some purr-verse twist of fate, the King has actually managed to establish a functional government here in the north, completely separate from, yet at peace with, Purr-sident Rapsknuckle's government down in Central. The people up here are happy, basically, despite the constant danger and purr-el. Now, our evil daemon purr-view would rather see the people killed, their animals dead, and their meager inventories purr-loined. It's our hope that if the King is killed, the common purr-ception will be that no one here is safe, possibly creating an increase of unease of at least 45 purr-cent. So, under flag of truce, we began our purr-fidious attack, some of our soldiers entering while the rest established a purr-imeter to keep anyone from escaping. Our siege weapons began their purr-cussive strikes on the wall at the same instant our daemons inside attacked the purr-sonell guarding them, simple since the guards had been purr-suaded to purr-mit our daemons to retain their purr-sonal effects and weapons. I must say, the literal backstabbing is a nice purr-k of being a daemon. Since you may be curious, the Queen and Princess are only purr-iferal to our plans, but we'll probably be sure they purr-ish... perish as well. To summarize, we want this kingdom to fail. Purr-manently. So as you can see---
CAD: RUN AWAY!
>Continue the ASSAULT