Despite your insane curiosity about the workings of the CURLING CONSOLE, you pass it by to grab one of the PING PONG PADDLES and a PING PONG BALL. You put them in an empty pocket--- wait. Oh, snap!
All of your old INVENTORY, including your TIME DEVICE, were in your old TROUSERS! These LOANER SHORTS had nothing in them but six slightly unhygienic VARIOUS MONIES! You really need to get those pants back, or else you may break various TIME LOOPS and end the UNIVERSE in a BANG (as opposed to a WHIMPER).
While you're over by the ANALOG VIDEO PONG TABLE, you also glance over to the PORTAL, which is glowing and pulsating with an immense energy which defies rational explanation as it expands endlessly into non-Euclidean geometries whose brief veil is torn asunder and threatens by its very existence to crack the fragile farce which is a Human mind into a thousand nightmare pieces. You've seen better.
>Stare at IRRATIONAL PORTAL