Tuesday, April 5, 2011

303 - Do STUFF


Things you do, abridged:
  • Use STUN GUN on the BUREAUCRAT in the DOORWAY.
  • Briefly discuss MISSION OBJECTIVES.
  • Briefly DANCE.
  • Kidnap JET.
  • Kidnap BENNIE, THE BUREAUCRAT'S SON.
  • Kidnap a BOTTLE OF MEDIOCRE SHERRY. You can't be too choosy.
  • Make a PUN about a person you once knew named SHERRY.
  • Force a LAUGH.
  • Destroy the IRRATIONAL MAP to the RIGHT.
  • Kidnap the REMOTE CONTROL.
  • Reserve RIGHT TO RETURN JET TO TIMELINE.
  • Check RESERVATIONS.
  • Leave in the POLICE BOX.
  • vworp vworp vworp vworp vworp

Some time later...


You recover from your COMA--- but your MASTER is gone! You hop around in a STATE OF SOME CONFUSION.

>Be TOTALLY PROFESSIONAL

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

REVERT back to your MILITARY TRAINING and use the OODA LOOP to determine the best course of action.

Failing that, CHEAP SLIDING KICK the nearest pirate into submission.

Anonymous said...

So we're playing as M. Bison now? Hell to the yeah! He looks so sad though. Anyway...

Plot REVENGE for the kidnapping of your MASTER.

Anonymous said...

Oh man, we're a teddy bison!

Check INVENTORY. Calm our state with consciousness of our contents.

Use BISON TRACKING SKILLS, developed from years of evolution hunting teddy-bison-prey, to track down JET.

Check STATS. How fast can we run? Are we injured? Are we invulnerable?

Maridee said...

SNIFF with INCREDULOUS DEXTERITY for CLUES.

Anonymous said...

Arm yourself with one of the pistols on the wall, then look for ammunition.

Anonymous said...

CHARGE the RED FILING CABINET.

Obes said...

check your last memories, get a fading memory of RHYS kidnapping JET, and swear vengance in a horrible yell "RHYYYYYYYYSSSS" that sets off a chain reaction of events that will all somehow culimate in an stand off of epic porportions......http://www.wickedawesomeadventure.com/2010/05/1035-lead-squadron-of-teddy-boars.html

Anonymous said...

Investigate CLUES to find Jet. Become a grizzled PRIVATE EYE out for REVENGE.

Chaud said...

Use considerable military training to find the secret passage behind the red cabinet because people are always kidnapped through secret passageways beating the crud out of anyone in your path

Matt said...

Fall to your KNEES*. Shout "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" to the HEAVENS, shaking your FISTS* at an ASSUMED CREATOR, who has CURSED YOU with this CURSED DESTINY.

*assuming you HAVE THEM. If not, QUICKLY RETRIEVE them from FILING CABINET)

Anonymous said...

SNAP out of it. Rationally ASSESS the situation. Leave the building and head deeper into town.

Alternatively, BE CAD until you can snap out of it.

Anonymous said...

Wake up the bureaucrat. Check in with him.

Anonymous said...

Remove the picture of JET from the STANDING CHART and use it as a SUBSTITUTE MASTER, just as good as the old one as long as you can develop the right psychological disorders.