You perform SCIENCE and craft yourself two "useful" devices. The first applies your surprising windfall of PHLEBOTINUM to create a TROUSERS RADAR. Your SUIT JACKET and the missing PANTS are made from the same fabric, so you tear off a portion to scan. For a display, you utilize your PING PONG PADDLE, which now displays the direction towards your TROUSERS. You also attach the small SILVER BELL, so it will "ding" as you get closer.
You also craft a DECOY BRAIN out of the URINAL CAKE.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand that takes up both of your INVENTORY POCKET SLOTS. Curse these PINK SHORTS! At least you can still carry the PLUNGER in your hand.
Ah, ding it.>Talk!